Why?

Why now? Why this?

Health. Yeah. That's a big piece of it. My BMI isn't in a healthy range.

But I think the trip to Africa might have something to do with it, too.

When I was in Africa, it was the first time I was really seen. Strangers saw me, not as a fat woman, but as a woman. It was an amazing experience. And not just men, either, though that was kind of fun. My women friends really saw me, too.

I liked it.

And I realized that one consequence of being fat is that people don't really see you. It is easy to hide, even for me. When I am among strangers, they don't see me.

I guess at this point, I believe that it is time for the various parts of my life to be in concert with one another. Taking care of myself physically goes hand in hand with taking care of myself emotionally and spiritually.

Because, well, I have nothing to hide. It is time for me to stop hiding.